Usually I am a complete twit about things like that. I can barely remember my own birthday let alone keep track of something like that. However, on that particular day, I remember feeling very proud of myself because I actually knew the correct answer to that question. So, I proudly lifted my chin up high and told her the date with confidence.
"Oh," said the nurse with some surprise, "So you are a little late right?"
My mind raced. What was this lady talking about? Am I late? I quickly did the math in my head. Yes. I was late. She was right. How could I have not known that? Am I losing my mind?
The answer was clear. No, I wasn't loosing my mind. I simply had become a complete and utter air head due to baby induced sleep deprivation. But still, how could I not have realized that I was that late? And more importantly what did that mean? The nurse sat there waiting for me to answer.
"Well," I said calmly to the nurse, "I am still breastfeeding. And you know, that can make you irregular." The nurse sat there looking at me calmly. "Yes," I continued, "I am sure that it just it. It must just be the fact that I am breastfeeding." Hmmm...Who was I trying to convince? The nurse or myself?
Well, it was that very day that I found out that the breastfeeding hormones were NOT to blame for my period being late. I found out that I was pregnant. I have to admit that I was very nervous and not sure how to feel.
As I sat there staring at the pregnancy test results, many thoughts and questions raced through my mind. Things were so busy already. How could I possibly take care of another baby? Would I be able to continue breastfeeding my oldest? How would we ever get any sleep? What was my husband going to say? Was I robing my oldest child of being a baby? Could we afford to have another baby so soon?
But underneath all of that worry and self doubt, I have to admit that there was a part of me that was unbelievably happy that I was pregnant again. And there was a part of me that knew that somehow I was going to be able to do this. Well, it has been about two years since I took that pregnancy test. And looking back at things today, I know that that small part of me was right.
Perhaps some of you reading this today just found out that you will soon be a mother of two children under two years old. Perhaps the pregnancy was planed...or perhaps it was not. Perhaps you are staring at that pregnancy tests scared out of your mind. Or, perhaps you are just feeling excited and awestruck. Well, I am here to tell you that all of those emotions and mixed feelings are normal. And that it is possible to raise two attached, happy, and healthy children born close together. It won't be easy, but you can do this. So celebrate this pregnancy. You are very blessed.
